i still wake up earlier than i used to, missing her badly. i run into the shower, hot water gives me instant relief, cleansing my muscles form the catatonic visions of the night. but the day always offers me much joy, especially now, when earth cannot longer resist the insistent caress of the sun. i have not recovered fully yet, my mind is occupied by the grieving process, leaving no energy to creativity and deeper thoughts. i do not really mind this state of melancholy. life is sad for the moment but still indescribably beautiful. it will only make my future experiences of love and passion more overwhelming. i have not touched my anti-depressants and i will not, unless my ancient daemons strike again.