.kuba (lotophagous) wrote,
.kuba
lotophagous

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i talked to my father yesterday. on the phone, we live i different countries. had not heard from him since July. it was so disgusting. he was only talking about his financial problems, trying to make me persuade my mother to lend him money. and they are not even on speaking terms. i did not even feel angry wit him, the only emotions that came to me were those of pity and contempt. he did not even asked how i was..

i cannot say he is not a father figure for me. it is quite simple, i only have to do exactly the opposite of what he would do. fuck the fifth commandment.

after that i spoke to K. she had disappeared for a couple of days after misinterpreting one of my journal entries. my fault, of course, i should have been more explicit. she is such a wonderful, kind and sensual woman. i do not know if our relationship will evolve beyond friendship, we have shared so much pain..

one of the funny details about us is that we were desperately in love with people who happen to live 100 km from each other. on a different continent. but she is not over him yet and i feel i am not ready for anything serious right now. we will see, she is coming to visit me in a couple of weeks.

talked to C this morning. we are back to where we were six months ago, before all that love thing. it felt really good, we could still talk about everything, no feelings involved except warm friendship. it was kind of bizarre, i was reassuring her that the bloke she is in love with has similar feelings for her. and i really meant it.
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