.kuba (lotophagous) wrote,
.kuba
lotophagous

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apparently there are still some parts of mind that have not realized that it is over. i woke up this morning, surprised by the fact. maybe i was having one of those inverted nightmares, dwelling in the past. i fear the day when even the most obscure nooks of my soul perceive the situation. on the other hand it took only 15 minutes and i felt comfortable again.

MW rang me yesterday. it was a blessing to hear her voice. we were romantically involved (if you can call marriage this) almost exactly 8 years ago. now she is one of those friends i only talk to a couple of times a year. and it always feels like it was yesterday (which happens to be the situation with all my friends).

i may pay her a visit soon, spend a weekend in the bush. i still have not met her son. she seems to have become even more of a kind, strong and independent woman than she was before. i am so jealous of her boyfriend. he is a close friend of nina persson of 'the cardigans' and has seen diamanda gals in concert.

then ML called me. she was deeply depressed again, not even her medication helps anymore. poor girl. she is smart, talented and pretty (for a blonde) but her emotional life is even more fucked up than mine. at least i am aware of where my feelings of inferiority come from, she can only blame herself.
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