.kuba (lotophagous) wrote,
.kuba
lotophagous

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i just had a most confusing convo with her. wanted to know if she was doing all right after our break up. somehow she saw my question as an attempt find out about her relation to some guy. and something much worse - her suspicion that knowing she has been suffering would give me some kind of satisfaction. for fuck's sake, i care about her. it is so insulting when she sees my as a vindictive prick.

she is surrounded by men who make her heart beat faster. and if she has not sought consolation in their arms already, it is only a matter of time. as if my knowing the name of that bloke would change anything. the point is i am not that 'him' she refers to talking to her friends. something that bothers me less for every day.

she hang up on me and i am not sure how to interpret her brusque reaction. i want so badly to be her friend, i miss the magic she radiates, the magic i have become blind to. she is not an ordinary girl and i hate seeing her as such. i saw her magic even before i fell in love with that girl, so i know it was not a product of my love doped imagination.
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