.kuba (lotophagous) wrote,

  • Mood:
i spent a pleasant evening at M's. i went to her apartment to pick up atle, our Scheidewaise dog. we haven't got on well together since our break-up.

i didn't handle it very well. honesty can be harmful if not handled with care. i hurt her and then i lied to her just because she asked me to (hmm.. sounds like an old song by the smiths). it was partly because of my bad conscience i stayed in touch with her, although she could be very rude and mean to me. but i also like her and feel some kind of responsibility for her well-being.

for the last year our relationship was totally free from passion and sexual attraction.we were like brother and sister, sharing an apartment (it doesn't sound very healthy). we both have a history of abysmal depression, our relationship became more like a support group. and at some point we just couldn't leave it, it felt safer than trying to live.

all that was forgotten today. she was happy, kind and caring. it was such a pleasure to see her glowing again. she has finally met a man. we don't know so much about him yet but so long he seems to be perfect for her. he is romanian, so i conducted a brain-dump of all my knowledge of romanian art and literature (it wasn't hard, ionesco, tzara and brancusi used to be my household gods). i've seen her distressed for so long, she really deserves it.

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