i haven't lost it all, and hopefully won't. that love changed so many aspects of my life i wouldn't be able to go back to who i was, the track is overgrown.
it was good to know celia had been feeling the same way. we can leave it without hard feelings, nobody's hurt or bitter. we can remain friends, sharing pieces of beauty like we always have. she made me get a copy of virginia woolf's 'the waves', it's the closest i can get to experiencing lovelike beauty at the moment. thank you, ceal. for everything.