it would be the most pathetic and evil activity one could imagine indulging in. how many karma point love euthanasia will give? now not even friendship is possible for her. maybe i have been too successful in suppressing my feelings for her. i actually came to believe i was over her. the punishment is even more pain in moments like this.
i am too fucking proud to tell her how much this is going to affect me. probably love is not the problem for her anymore. she most likely wants to escape the discomfort of being reminded of the feelings prior to our break up. of course she is right, it was my firm conviction that we cut off our contacts. which i did. which i could not go on with when she spoke to me again. god, i am such a loser. with my personality my next reincarnation will most certainly be a dog.