.kuba (lotophagous) wrote,
.kuba
lotophagous

  • Mood:
i came home last night, the plane was delayed thanks to eta (yes guys, *now* i'm really going to support your cause after waiting for take off for 1.5 hour in a hot cabin, with whining children and my mother hallucinating about my sister sitting next to her). mission accompilshed. my sister seems to feel much better, she's eating and planning for her future. it was a good trip for other reasons too. the whole family got much closer to each other, changing established roles and finding new ways of communication. i took charge of the situation, which gave me their respect, even admiration. for the first time in my life my mother was saying nice things to me without being even slightly ironic..

the last night was hard. i got some disturbing news from the woman i love but at the same time i felt that i was surronded by people who loved me and needed me. i was distressed, i still feel sad and angry once in a while but i believe we can solve it, it can even lead to something new and better. right now we need to stay away from each other. we have to do it in order to save all that's precious to us until we are ready for the next step. or give it up, which i nearly did. i miss her badly, the separation doesn't exactly make my feelings fade.. i'm worried but hopeful.
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